Hyphenation rules and Victorian hussies, in one act

Note: the short-play conceit herein is stolen, with all admiration and respect, from the inimitable Tara Ariano. And, well, Pamie. And probably plenty of other bloggers as well. Also, um, I totally don’t Gchat at work. Nope. Not ever, no sir.

***

THE SCENE: A copyeditor’s computer monitor, with Firefox pointed to Gmail. A Gchat window blinks open.

Colin: Yo, newspaper girl. AP style question. “Caregiver” or “care giver”? A quick Google indicates the former, which is also my instinct.

Mags: You should always use as few letters and spaces as possible.

Colin: Yeah. And “care giver” seems so…antique. It’s, like, a hyphen away from the Victorian era. “Whither went my care-giver to-day?”

Mags: “To yonder field, sir, to find my glove. …And do the nasty.”

Colin: “Be ware not to knock your bustle askew, madam.”

Mags: Askew you.

Colin: Askew yourself, YOU SOP-WENCH.

Mags: Hee!

Colin: Wait, what is a sop-wench, exactly? Did I make that up? Is that…a thing?

Mags: I think it works.

CURTAIN

***

SECRET ALTERNATE ENDING

Mags: Askew you.

Colin: Gesundheit!

CURTAIN

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4 Responses to “Hyphenation rules and Victorian hussies, in one act”


  1. 1 Maggie G July 13, 2010 at 9:26 am

    So glad you’re blogging again, C. Fan!

    Looking forward to reading your adventures in Colorado 🙂

    -magz

    • 2 Colin July 13, 2010 at 9:43 am

      I hope there’ll be adventures worth writing about! I’m workin’ on it.

      I’m counting on you and Fus to nag me if I fall behind on the updates. Hee.

  2. 3 Claire July 13, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    Colin! This exchange is beautiful. You are wonderful.


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